You deserve to be loved

You deserve to not have to question a person's love for you.

This is one I've read a lot of lately. It's a catchy phrase. Sensational. Appeals to the ego.

And it's not 100% wrong. It just needs clarification/context.

You ARE loved. By the creator of the universe. The reason we can love is because He first loved us.

You also deserve a loving family. You deserve friends who care about you. You deserve a significant other that helps you up when you fall, and celebrates your successes, and shows you they love you each and every day.

Now, here's where it gets tricky. Many people are aware of it these days, but there are going to be some who still aren't, or don't understand it completely, and that's okay. But there are these things called "love languages". One person likes to give and receive love in one way. And another in another way. And yet another in a completely different way. There are 5, in fact, according to Gary Chapman. Receiving gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, and acts of service. And within each of the 5 languages is another entire realm of possible ways to give and receive love, such that no two people are really identical. Just because two people may share "acts of service" as a love language does not mean they will appreciate the exact same things being done for them. This is actually really awesome as it can truly personalize the way you feel seen and heard and also see and hear others. But it does get tricky. If you try to show someone love in the way that you like to receive love, but that is not their love language, then they will not receive it the same way. They may not even recognize it as an act of love AT ALL! So, in order to make sure that your people show you love in the ways you like to feel loved, it is important to communicate that with them. And when they do something right, thank them and encourage them! Let them know they're doing the right thing! And in order for your people to feel the same love back, it's important for them to tell you what makes them feel special and appreciated the most. Then follow it up and let them know they're heard.

Yes, you deserve all of the love. But it is not other peoples' jobs to read your mind. You know you the best! You spend the most time in your body, sitting with your feelings and emotions. You know what makes you happy, loved, and appreciated. Don't keep it a secret! Get on the same page about things and start truly filling each other's cups! Build a foundation and well of trust and generosity. Be vocal, be heard.

With Love,

Ryand